Josh (darksyde) wrote,
Josh
darksyde

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I can't hear with these clouds in my ears.

My precious Livejournal, I am so sorry for abusing your trust. I keep telling you I am coming back to see you more and here I am, over a month later. I'll work backwards.

I came home to Wilson tonight to see my mom. We had already set up the date before I went to the ER on Monday but I'll get there. Dinner was asparagus, cube steak and cheese potatoes with sweet tea. My mom's cooking is godly. If you are reading this and you can have it often, appreciate every single moment of it. Free good food is not something you encounter enough. Company with your family in good health and happy is definitely not either. As I sit here, she's talking to me and ironing shirts and fixing a hem in my pants. No other person in the world is this good to me or loves me as much. My mom is wonderful.

I spent Monday was in the ER. I was having GI tract pain and sensitivity for several days prior until finally that day, my first day back at work after NET classes, I start exhibiting heart attack like symptoms; chest, neck and back pain, numbness in my left arm etc and then also a great deal of discomfort when drinking and eating anything. The urgent care of course sent me to the ER despite having guessed it early on. I sat in the waiting room of the ER for over 4 hours, most of which I spent either sleeping or reading A Clockwork Orange, with a short bit of eating food Matt brought me, who is a great friend. I was having esophageal spasms, which is great because it's not my heart, but still ultra uncomfortable. I'm on medicine now, which I'll have to take for a long while, but now I owe Rex hospital money and I'll have to schedule something with a specialist. More money and time I don't have.

Made changes in several of my relationships with people. Not easy, but necessary in the long run for everyone. Adult decision making is awesome.

Had a great trip with John, Cam and Codie weekend before last. Got some stuff figured out, first time having anytime alone, much less talking with a female of importance. First time playing drums like that either; so unbelievably fun. I want my drum set so damn bad. Too too much to say about this, as always.

I've been watching struggling so hard to watch an infinitely long list of movies, listen to so many albums, read so many books and practice several talents, on top of working and keeping up social stuff, I just feel exhausted. I need about twice as many waking hours as I have.

I read the Four Quartets today and it is like reading my thoughts about time, but more evolved and in depth and explored from so many angles. I cannot wait to read it again. Must write a bigger post about this.

Smash is still going well. I surprise myself so much. I love this game.

Random random random but I hung out with Stephanie again last Saturday after not having seen her in like 3 or 4 years. She is awesome and I have missed her. Technology saves the day again.

Today, I've had the pleasure of talking to Mike, Heather, Karen, Marie, and Mandy on the phone. I should be so lucky every day. I know some wonderful, brilliant people.

I promise to come back and finish this later. Current music is amazing.
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